Chapter 2

My life with MOL

I spent too many years following this so called "spiritual path", I almost would say I wasted precious time till one day I woke up in cold sweat and realize I was actually giving my life to a con artist and it was indeed a cult.

Mol professes to have the perfect cure for the disease called "separation from God" or feeling "separated" from yourself and others.

I left Poona, at the beginning '96 (see my post: My life with Osho). After that, I felt separated, isolated, a fish out of the water thirsty for true spiritual value, and a bit of a misfit in the face of the "real" world. I don't think I can ever get rid of being a misfit and I came to the conclusion that I don't want to be anything else: It is an incredible place to live your life. And it is what helped me not to succumb to the lunatic dream of Mol.

Back then I was so desperate in my "spiritual" search, my soul was screaming for peace, unconditional love, compassion and a practical spiritual path that would take me Home. When I entered the Intensive room in S.Diego in summer '96 I was ready for a change. Just another one!
I must say at this point that in January of the same year '96 , in Poona, I participate to the sannyas version of the Mol Intensive: the Path of love, led by two sannyasin therapist who themselves did the Intensive with Kalindi couple of years earlier.
I loved the process of The Path of love. And I wanted more ! Especially after experiencing so much pain when I left the ashram in India.

The Mol Intensive is all about finding the roots of your separation and in that pain feel the love that is there, side by side. Great process if you stay just with that and move on in you life, very dangerous if you give your life to it and to the Voice of God-Kalindi (by the way the real voice of God is only of God). So I jumped headfirst.... to “find all the answers of my longing” and “being so touched by the immense love and care” I felt with those people.
I only discovered the truth of “their true love and care” after I left.

Everything is suffering in MOL

Mol can take you to the depth of your pain and then leave you there to soak, whine, cry and scream until you are made to believe that they possess the key "to break free of all suffering and separation and return to God". Of course in that state of desperation, alienation and vulnerability you are so susceptible to any information which comes to you especially when you are dying to hear it. How to end the suffering and live your life with God? And mind you Mol professes to be the only path with an exclusivity on God and "a way to break the bondage of life and death and return Home to the Father"!
Who doesn't want to see their dream fulfilled?

I did it all: I left a beautiful caring loving man, moved to the European Mol center in Munich, found a job, learn another language and started to give all my blood to Mol.
It took me years of tears and pain to heal the separation of my loved one. But yet again more you were crying more you were opening up to God's love and you were praised for your endeavour, all along the subtle thought reform was creeping into your brain and you were lost in a game of Catch - 22.

Illusory love versus love of God.

For all the time I was in MoL I could not have a deep committed relationship, as it is practically impossible to be deeply involved even when both the parties are in MoL.
You are supposed to stay detached!
One of the MoL main teaching is to let go of any attachment in order for you to reunite with God at a time of your death. You can't be attached to anything or and anybody, especially not to your partner. This is a common characteristic of a cult-like structure group.
Any cult cannot have anything or anyone be more important to a true believer than the cult itself or the guru, master, incarnation. In Mol "illusory love" for another person is a "trap" because it will "distract us from the one and only true love, the source of all love, God", if we stay in this consuming and god forbid, enjoyable relationship. Most important there is a danger that you may leave if you love somebody more then your guru!!!!
Oh Boys I have got guidance in this area...that now makes my back shiver...

Love bombing in MOL

Definition: Love bombing is the deliberate use of an intense, concerted show of affection by a group of people, toward an individual they seek to recruit or otherwise influence.

In the beginning of your involvement in a group like Mol you are overwhelmed by attention, praises, love and sympathy from the member of the group. Everybody wants to be with you, they show concern about you that you can easily mistaken it as real care. They keep inviting to their events, an open meditation, home introduction, GMP workshop, Mol Intensive, dance party, or any other small or big party. They tell you you have a special energy, a special purpose in Mol, that they been waiting for someone just like you. It is called love bombing by the professionals for a reason: it is overwhelming you.

After this initial syrupy fake love I had to work hard to keep a true level of friendship and moreover they were never spontaneous, but conditional to your surrender to the path. You were even supposed to die for your friends if this would help them to "break free". So alienating are the teaching in Mol.
But when you truly needed somebody for any reason at all, nobody was there to really care.
Kalindi used to say: "This mission will be known for the immense love and care we have for the people". My experience is that Mol is full of selfish, arrogant, indifferent and careless people, pretending to be otherwise. It is the pretending that is dangerous!
Poisoned soul coated with marzipan.

A month before I left Mol, I had to move out of the "break free house" setting. The devotee and committed members of Mol, like I used to be, lived together in communal household, sometime sharing bedroom with others and following a very rigid, precise and disciplined life style. I had found a very small apartment, but at last I was free from the control of the "big brother" eye.
Talking about love and care. From one day to the other my telephone was silent.
The Mol people was my "family"or so I believed. I knew the in and out of everybody, I cry with them, laugh with them (mostly cry and confronting illusion) and no one of the main troop show up with me ever since.

The love professed goes so far as to how much involvement you have in the group. Once you are out you are lost in the illusion and therefore not entitled to be called a friend, rather you became an enemy, an outcast.

After 8 years of doing it all, living in the houses, receiving constant guidance, giving up my relationships, my money, my clothes, my time, my privacy, my heart, everything...one day out of the blue I was asked not to participate to any Mol activity for a while and work on my rebellion as it was disturbing too many leaders and no one knew what to do with me.
Bottom line I was politely asked, in the style of their fake love and care to leave the Miracle of love mission. Cole -ex KrishnaBharti in Poona 1- became sick-green in delivering the message. I don't know if it was because he was in pain about me, or because he was in pain about his life as one of Kalindi's puppet creating so much misery around the world.
All in the name of surrender, all in the name of God.
The real face of Mol over the months to come, became clear to me, not without going through a proper looking and recovery from the cult abuse, in what truly is a deluded dream of a narcissistic leader with desire for power, money and glory.
The self-proclamed Voice of God, Kalindi and all of her gang have lost any power over me.
And I am still here as a free mountain spirit singing my song and living my life in its true color.More to come.


See also:
The goose is out - first article by me, posted on the Rick Ross website
A warning on Miracle of Love
Sarlo's Guru Ratings on Kalindi and MoL